


We're Back!

by sickly _sweet (sketchy_and_unformed)



Category: The Lonely Island (Band)
Genre: Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-27
Updated: 2010-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchy_and_unformed/pseuds/sickly%20_sweet
Summary: Imagined inspiration for the first couple of verses of We're Back! Dumb as fck.Livejournal repost.
Relationships: akiva schaffer/jorma taccone
Kudos: 1
Collections: Livejournal reposts: The Lonely Island





	We're Back!

"I swear this has never happened before!" Akiva's eyes are wide with horror, gaze switching from his lap to Jorma, whose grin is growing by the minute.  
  
"I'm sorry, _how_ old did you say you are again? Eighty?"  
  
"Fuck you, Jorma! Do something!"  
  
Jorma holds his hands up. "Hey man, I tried! I busted out every trick I got. It's not my fault your dick is broken."  
  
Akiva's face drains from an angry blush to ashen pale in a heartbeat. "You think it's fucking _broken_?"  
  
"Well, you _did_ say this has never happened before..."  
  
"Fuuuuuuck..." Akiva pushes his palms against his eyes for five seconds, hard enough that his head starts to swim. When he drops his hands he blinks twice before looking hopefully down at his lap. What he sees causes misery to return to his expression in full force. "It won't go hard. My life is over."  
  
"Yep," Jorma agrees. "You might as well chop it off now. I mean, what's the point even having it any more, right?"  
  
Akiva turns his head to glare at Jorma. "You know, you could try being _supportive_ instead of mercilessly insensitive."  
  
Jorma is still grinning. "Why would I do that?" At Akiva's deepening scowl, he shrugs with resignation, shuffling closer to the other man. "If anything, I should be the one who's bummed out by it. Don't you think I'm sexy any more, huh?"  
  
Akiva rolls his eyes. "You think I'd be reacting like this if I just didn't want to? I'm scared because there's nothing I'd rather do than fuck you, and now I can't."  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it when I said your dick's broken."  
  
"You think it could be, though?"  
  
"Where the fuck were you in sex ed? Get some sleep and try again in the morning, Kiv. One time doesn't mean anything." He punctuates the sentiment with a kiss to Akiva's neck, just below his ear.  
  
"I guess it was kind of a long day. We were dumb to even think we should do it tonight, really."  
  
"Yes we were. Now come on." Jorma pulls Akiva down to the mattress, curling up behind him with a posessive arm draped over his friend's stomach. Akiva lets out a contented sigh and pushes his head deeper into the pillows.  
  
"'night, Jorm. Sorry."  
  
"It's cool. Goodnight."  
  
Akiva is hovering at the edges of sleep when Jorma's voice, sunk to a whisper, breaks the silence.  
  
"On the plus side, I think we could get a song out of this."  
  
Akiva snorts. "Ay yo, my dick don't work," he replies, impending sleep blurring the words together. As he drifts off he feels Jorma pat him lightly on the ass.  
  
"Atta boy."


End file.
